|Home » |
Haribo Gummi Candy Gold-Bears, 5-Pound Bag
Haribo Gummy Gold Bears Candy is soft, chewy and translucent. And they are bursting with beary yummy flavor. There is nothing quite as whimsically delicious as gummy bears, a candy popular the world over for its sprightly personality and fruity taste. Squeeze them, line them up and make them dance, or just plain eat them. Haribo Gold-Bears are a mixed delight of white/pineapple, green/strawberry, yellow/lemon, orange/orange, and red/raspberry gummy bears.
One 5-pound bag containing approximately 985 pieces
Naturally flavored with balanced sweetness
Mouth watering, colorful candy
Flavors are pineapple (white), strawberry (green), lemon (yellow), orange (orange), and raspberry (red)
|Average Customer Rating:
|| based on 1850 reviews|
Average Customer Review:
( 1850 customer reviews )
Write an online review and share your thoughts with other customers.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2533 of 2736 found the following review helpful:
I have seen the face of God.Oct 22, 2014
By Douglas Pope
I didn't feel the need to plan my weekend around 5 small gummybears. But if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
It began with a noticeable change in the viscosity of my saliva. Within minutes of consumption, my mouth had filled with a thick foamy slime. Though I was in a cool climate controlled room a salty sweat broke out, and I felt my heartbeat quicken as my body threw itself into fight or flight.
The animal noises broadcasting from my pelvis were an ominous warning of the violent acts that were to follow. I shouldered my way into the bathroom, clawing at my belt, moaning with pain. The smell came first. It started sweet, almost tangy. That was quickly overpowered by a cloying chemical perfume.
The first volley of feces hit the water like soda cans and nickles. The resulting splash drenching my bottom in foul brackish water, but this was quickly becoming the least of my worries.
After another moment, the noises in my core hit a fever pitch and I was struck rigid with pain. The sweat was now running into my eyes, but the room had turned ice cold and my hands began to spasm.
I felt an insidious burning flooding my escape hatch. I gasped. Hot yellow poison began spraying from my rear, changing in pitch and echo as the stream of diarrhea whipped around the toilet bowl, creating a nightmarish Doppler effect that can only be appreciated in hindsight.
My legs fell asleep sitting on the toilet. I couldn't have stood up if I wanted to.
Wiping was a no-go. Toilet paper simply became a vile paper mache'. My hands were quickly soiled. A full blown shower was needed, and all of my towels had to be burned.
So happy with my purchase, would recommend to friends and definitely buying again!
513 of 565 found the following review helpful:
See you in hell, Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi BearsJun 05, 2015
It was my last class of the semester, and the final exam was worth 30% of our grade.
After a late night study session I felt confident, but I had to decide between sleeping in or cooking breakfast. My eyelids chose sleep.
My stomach later regretted this decision, and after several uncomfortable stomach growls, I finally decided to make a quick stop by the campus bookstore and grab a snack before my test. Since the semester was ending and everyone was going home for the summer, a lot of items were on sale, including the snacks and candy that they kept up front. Being in the hungry state that I was in, it felt only logical to pick the largest, yet least expensive candy in order to get more bang for my buck.
And there they sat: two bags of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears, buy one get one free.
"What a deal!" I thought naïvely. I would eat one bag before my test, and one bag afterwards.
As I walked to class, I gleefully chewed on those abominable little bastards, unaware of the utter mayhem that they would soon unleash upon my poor, poor anus.
I sat down at my desk as the professor informed us that, due to issues with cheating in the past, restroom breaks would be prohibited until the completion of the exam.
"I'll give you 10 minutes to use the restroom now; this will be your last chance. Any takers?"
The demon bears hadn't released their unholy necromancy upon my stomach yet, so in my moment of ignorant foolishness, I remained seated, still munching on those miniature bear-shaped bombs.
After the students wise enough to take the professor's offer had returned, the professor handed out the test. I was six questions in when it happened.
It started subtly at first, almost like a slight tingly sensation in my lower abdomen. I thought nothing of it, assuming my intestines were just doing their thang. Little did I know that my intestines were trying desperately to warn me of the horror that was on the horizon.
By question 9 it happened again, but this time it was followed by a sharp pain, as if those infernal hellions had orchestrated an attack upon my colon. I fought to contain the groan that tried escaping my lips. It was at this point I began to panic; something was going horribly long, and I needed to get through this test before it got any worse.
By question 14 my worst fear was upon me; the Satan bears' burning, hot, liquidy dark magic crashed against my anal sphincter like a tidal wave. I was able to close the hatch just in time, but those relentless, toxic bears beat against it like Orcs breaking down the doors of Helm's Deep. I knew I wouldn't be able to so much as shift in my seat without risking a breach.
I kept fighting through my exam, clenching my cheeks with all my might. Beads of sweat began rolling down my neck. Suddenly, a loud, gurgling war cry came from my belly, and the entire class lifted their heads.
At this point, nothing mattered except expelling this ungodly presence from my bowels. With 15 questions left, I promptly wrote C for every answer and ran out of the classroom. My professor yelled something, but I was too preoccupied with the volcanic eruption that needed to take place before I could find sweet, sweet relief.
I burst into the restroom like the Kool-Aid man and, behold, the handicap stall was empty. Sun rays from the adjacent window shone upon it, as if it were a gift from God himself. It took me less than .5 seconds to undo my belt buckle, pull down my pants, and finally relax my weary buttocks upon the toilet seat.
It took absolutely no effort to expel this demon. Almost immediately, the floodgates of hell were opened and the damned, liquified souls of an entire bag's worth of gummi bears cried as they burned through my sphincter and into the watery abyss below. I had never felt such simultaneous relief and anguish in my life.
After 30 more minutes of this, I immediately went home, dug a hole in my backyard, and burned the remaining bag of gummi bears.
I leave with this; do not, I repeat do NOT eat these spawns of Satan. Not only did they cause me to fail my final test, but the anguish I experienced is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. The only place these god forsaken hell bears belong are buried deep below the Earth's surface.
1521 of 1830 found the following review helpful:
Could be used to torture information from terrorists.Jan 25, 2014
By Emily Heseltine
It was my first deployment and I had been missing a lot of stuff from the states. I could get gummi bears at the PX here but not sugar free, and with the army weight regulations I try to keep my snacking healthy. Thus, when I saw a 5 lb bag of sugar free gummies I couldn't help but putting the order in. The gummies shipped in a varily fast manner and I was relieved to notice that non of the gummies appeared to have melted or been damaged in anyway. When I got the bag I was somewhat shocked, seeing for the first time how much 5 lbs of gummie bears actually is. I knew there would be no way for me to consume them all alone. Luckily, we had a range later that week. I stashed the gummies in my wall locker until the range.
On the day of the range, we all sat under some camo nets we had put up to protect us from the sun as we waited our turn too qualify. During this time, I broke out the gummies. Everyone was stoked. We all sat around chatting as we ate delicious soft squishy gummies washed down with Rawdatain water. So far, the range had been going smoothly. Soon it was my turn to fire. I was given range 3 and I immediately got into prone as this range starts off from the prone supported position. I adjusted my sand bags and that's when I realized something wasn't right.
It start with just a gurgle and then a grimacing pain. I could hear the range control over the loud speaker "Firers Prepare to fire-Lock and Load your weapons" GURGLE- the noise was terrible the pain was horrifric. I tried to focus on the target by my vision started to blur and sweat poured into my shooting eye. All the while, "Firers place your selector switch from safe to semi". I could not longer feel my hands they had gone numb. I realized at that moment I had to go and I me GO. An then, "Firers, at this time you may fire your weapons". I didn't move my switch from saftey; even if my hands weren't numb, I wouldn't have trusted myself with a loaded weapon. Now, I had another problem. The range was hot! I heard firing around all around me. I weakly fumbled with my weapon and placed it in a safe position. The range safety came up to me. "Soldier, is there something wrong". The look I gave must have gave said it all. The safety waved his paddle and the call was made. "Seize fire! Seize fire! Seize FIRE!" I was up and looking for relief. Perhaps the other Soldiers stopped firing, buy my colon had just begun. I made rush to the porta johns to find they were all filled up. Of course, I had shared those gummies with at least 10 other troops. The noises coming out of those porta pots will cause PTSD for many years to come. I thought for a second about finding a place out of sight. However, it was futile, I was in the desert you could see for miles all around. Then I remember the nationals had a porta pot and likely no one else knew it was there. It was under the range control tower surrounded by a small fence.
I rushed, as quickly as possible in my condition, clenching my cheeks and praying to every god I had ever heard of. I made it and found it was unoccupied. I opened the door to find, in my dismay, an Eastern Toilet. I began to take all my gear off in a hurry. Whilst, small amounts of air slipped past my cheeks with a liquid like feel. "Oh gods!" I thought. I clenched tighter ripping my boots off I could tell I would need all my clothing off as this was likely to cause to cause an immense back splash.Finally, disrobed, I allowed the release....it was a clumpy tidal wave of destruction. The smell was nothing of this world. I tried not to vomit as my anus took on a will of it own expeling this sickness from my system. After, I looked down in horrior at the Eastern Toilet realizing there was no way that this was going to drain properly. I accepted defeat at my attempt to clean up the terrible smelly gummie soil and washed myself up with some baby wipes I so mercifully had in my ACU pocket. I put my clothes on and stumbled out of the toilet. As I walked, one of the natives walked by me. I tried to warn him, but he didn't understand. I only heard him cry out "Allah" as he slammed the door walking away from the porta pot looking at me with fear. The eyes telling it all. He couldn't understand how that could have come out of a human being without killing them.
In the end, 10 troops were given saline solution for dehydration from the terrible gummies. Our unit swore a vow of secrecy to never speak of this experience again with one another because of the back flashes that some still have.
Thanks Haribo !
114 of 134 found the following review helpful:
Five StarsJan 15, 2015
By Shae Cronin
Don't eat the whole thing in one sitting. You'll poop forever.
64 of 74 found the following review helpful:
Straight thru man...straight thru.Apr 05, 2015
By Matthew J Peninger
What in the actual F*** just happened to my sphincter?
See all 1850 customer reviews on Amazon.com